Posts by Hiding Questioner

48

Forget all of the stages: Denial, Anger, Sadness - Don't you sometimes just feel STUPID for having believed in the Organization?

by BonaFide in

jw
friends

i know i have been through all those stages, i denied it, then i got angry, definitely sad.

months and months of this, and i still am in for my family and friends.. but sometimes i just feel stupid.

why did i ignore basic common sense for so long?

Hiding Questioner

I too grew up in "the Truth" and wanted to please my parents. I was idealistic and always brushed away my doubts, thinking that so many seemingly "smart" people could not all be fooled. Then came my "fake" witness marriage and I saw the "dark side" of people and had to make the conscience decision to "dam the torpedoes" and go out and enjoy a REAL life. Now, here's where my real stupidity kicked in. After all that, when my mother was dying, I allowed my grief to let the witnesses and a loving new wife, to draw me back in.

HOWEVER, this time, as a full grown "experienced in life" man, I soon realized that I was in a shame of a faith. So, still believing in the Bible and God, I thought to myself "Well, I need to worship God from somewhere; I’ll try to do it "my own way" from the JW faith. This just does not work. Why? It's easy to understand when I compare my 25 years in the corporate world with the "JW world”. The WBT$ operates like a corporation under the guise of a religion, so worship is not the priority, service is. If you want to confirm this, play the game I play at the meetings. Count the number of times you hear "worship Jehovah" versus "serve Jehovah”. You will be amazed! This test shows the true motivation of the WBT$. For every 10 times you hear "serve" or “service” to Jehovah, you will hear "worship" once. In that environment you will never gain spiritual enrichment, just frustration.

Now I still attend for my wife, the amusement I gain by hearing the stupid comments and my new found skill of doing all I can to tell the GB where they can go by ignoring all their mind controlling techniques and being a secret force for good in working to prevent others from damaging their lives like I almost did to mine.

32

Is anyone suffering from post-traumatic bitterness disorder?

by BurnTheShips in

jw
friends

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-he-bitterness25-2009may25,0,4544029.story.

bitterness as mental illness?bitter behavior is so common and deeply destructive that some psychiatrists are urging it be identified as a mental illness under the name post-traumatic embitterment disorder.by shari roan.

and, increasingly, psychiatrists know them.

Hiding Questioner

Thanks. This is very interesting. Sign me up for treatment! The description is so accurate, as I know I suffer from this. It's been 18 years and I still want justice! I could use some help!

70

AGAIN with the college bashing

by Pistoff in

ok so the mate took good notes at the ca and here is the newest on "higher education:.

the usual bashing of motives: those who want great wealth, prestige and seek it in a college educationcollege graduates don't always get jobs in their fieldsdrugs, drinking and sex are "rampant" at collegesthose who want to "snatch us away" are near if we go to college (isa 54)if we seek a college education, we are not spiritual mindedthe most disturbing for me was this:.

those who choose college will not get blessings from jehovahand of course there was the obligatory interview with the college graduate who disdains the education whe received.. .

Hiding Questioner

Here is another example. During my Hall's most recent CO visit I almost walked out when the CO stated "why attend college" when soon we will all be watching these centers for higher learning destroyed and in ruins. At the risk of giving away my identity, my profession causes me to work with colleges around the country and I find that the faculties, researchers and leaders at these institutions to be some of the most socially responsible and caring people I have ever had the pleasure working with.

This Thread is making me very angry

35

I would like know how you first found this site, and what was your first experience on here like?

by BonaFide in

jw
friends

my experience?

in the past few years, i liked to research stuff on the internet for talks.

and for experiences, i used to google jw's to see news articles.. then one day last year, i saw this site, and it said that it discusses anything related to jw's.

Hiding Questioner

I found this site by accident when I was looking on the Net for ways Witnesses might be able to contribute to Katrina victims. This led me to JWD where, like many have stated, I felt guilt and fear in looking at the threads. However, at the time, I was ripe for Questioning as my older age and painful past JW experiences were starting to affect me both mentally and emotionally. At the time I felt I was alone in all this only to find out through JWD that I was not alone and I was shocked to find so many who have been hurt so badly by the JW-cult like world. Yes, I, like most, was in total denial.

I lurked for years and in the process used the postings to heal. I read CofC and that, my friends, was the key turning point...that and the hypocricy of the WBS$ joining the UN as an NGO (I'll never forget going to the Book Study not all that long ago and covering the section on the UN as the Wild Beast, with the conductor and those in attendance spewing the Party Line all the while knowing that this site was in major discussion and revealing mode about the UN scandal. I thought to myself, "what a fool" the GB must think I am. I left the BS betrayed, angry and sick.)

Today, I remain undercover, going to meetings and keeping up Token Service for the sake of my "in deep" JW wife. I want to keep peace, so I must keep my involvement in JWD secret from her. I now am IN to live a life within the Org as an open non-conformist to send the message to the WBT$ that, not only do they not have my mind, they have someone IN who works within to prevent people from get sucked in. It's my way of saying "go pound sand!"

Not sure how long this can last before I am found out, as I am sure that the Org will be or is now very actively seeking ways to find out (in whatever non-devious or devious way they can) who is loyal to the Org and who is not. I guess I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get there. Meanwhile, I am enjoying this rebellious ride that I am now on and I appreciate all the years of good thought-provoking help this forum has provide me and the world. The GB must be running very scared about all this and I think their glory days are numbered.

(BTW: I do believe in God and that he has a purpose for mankind, just NOT through the WBT$!)

38

Did being raised a JW retard your career or cost you BIG $$$?

by The Berean in

jw
friends

i was offered a journalism scholarship at ohio state ... mom made me turn it down cause "armageddonwas near"... ended up a janitor!

.

Hiding Questioner

Well, yes and no. Probably more YES. First, as a "faithful" Jdub I did not pursue an education and, infact, was encouraged by my parents to quit high school, which, like a brainwashed fool, I did! Fortunately, I am smart and I was able to seek a unique high demand career through the help of some dear "worldly" friends (never in 50 years have I got any help from a JW) who saw my potencial. (BTW: I cannot id that career without risking revealing my identity, as I am still undercover) That said, my career has served me well for over the past 25 years.

HOWEVER, because of my money and a nice house, I have been duped (conned) several times by fellow witnesses through their clever manipulation of me ( And, I admit, I am trusting, nieve and idealistic - so I am an easy target), the manipulation of elders and the clever use of WBT$ rules. Case in point was my attractive "JW" ex-wife who originally saw my house and my horneyness as a way to enrich herself with my premarriage and in-marriage money and real estate equity leaving me pennyless, unscriptually free and out "on the street" without a home. I lost about $150,000, just in that one mess!

It took me 8 years (and therapy) to rebuild my life and, during that time, I must admit that my bitterness, along with continued JW-like thinking caused me to live for the day - wrongly thinking I was either doomed at "the Big A" or I would make it - either way I stupidly told myself that I should listen to those who are discouraging me from seeking a comfortable retirement. Now, as I look back I can see my peers happy as I start to struggle with the new found realization that I have no retirement or pension. I realize now that, had I had the right non-Jdub attitude earlier in my career, I would today be as happy, fulfilled and content as they are. I must now try to figure out a way to survive financially as I get older, after holding out for so long for a failed promise. Thanks so much WBT$ for leaving me with these messed up "golden years"!

69

...Jehovah`s Witness`s have the most Stable Marriages...

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

jehovah`s witness`s have the most stable marriages..very few jehovah`s witness`s cheat on thier mates..most jehovah`s witness`s stay married for thier entire lifes to the same person..jehovah`s witness`s have the happiest marriages!..becoming jehovah`s witness`s,has saved many marriages..................................................my experience has taught me none of that is true.................what is your experience?............................outlaw.

Hiding Questioner

My JW divorce was a soap opera. After what I thought was a happy 9 year witness marriage (my "best friend") my wife ambushes me in our home by secretly arranging her own version of a JC (her JW father and two elders) by getting them all to the house and then surprises the two elders and me by announcing (to my total surprise and shock) that I was unfaithful during one of my many business trips, which was not the case. To my dismay the elders felt that these accusations could be credible. Then, while on my next business trip, she took “my stuff” out of the house, changed the locks, filed for divorce and proceeded to slander my name and reputation throughout the community, all the while the local elders considered her “the victim” and “in good standing”. And, as this continued, I was applauded by the sheer number of JWs who believed her stories (people who knew me) and who allowed her stores to fuel their sick appetite for lurid stories of sexual escapades (including another false claim that I was gay).

Now years later I am able to look back and I realize how unprepared as Jdubs we all are for marriage (most, like me, just winged it) and how vulnerable we all are to this sort of manipulation. In my case the whole “process” of our marriage was a deliberate attempt by my “wife” to use sex, my love and my commitment to our JW marriage to con me into giving her 50% access to all the wealth I had accumulated prior to our marriage, as well as that accumulated during the marriage, which I did and which was a tens of $1,000s of $$$ and in the end I felt like a victim of emotional and sexual abuse under the protective "eye" of the WBT$ and with the support (even encouragement) by many JWs, as h ow could I ever prove that I DID NOT have sex with another woman.

Since then I have always maintained that, when it comes to marriage, the WTB$ is set up wrongly as a fear induced divorce prevention system of "governance" and not an organization that has a nurturing marriage maintenance "program" that enriches relationships by training us men to be good husbands and wives to be good wives.

44

Tell the ''Governing Body'' one thing that you've always wanted them to know!

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

the only reason you have total control over all of your members is your false ''faithful and discreet slave'' scripture.

this scripture was applied only for your benefit.

without this scripture your whole religion would fall..

Hiding Questioner

Me, I relish in the realization that you know that the Internet is distroying you and your power. Take me for example, I am a "brother" in good standing and I use this position as a way to prevent others from being sucked into the vortec of your mind controlling world. And I relish the fact that, even though I attend all meetings, you don't have my mind and never will. You have needlessly hurt too many people (including me) and I for one am in to get people OUT. And, don't think for a mnute that I don't know how to play the game. The Elders will not find me out and I love the fact that many of them consider me to be their best most trusted friend. I am sure there are many others like me and I love the fact that there is no way you can find out who I am or stop me.

48

Have You Ever Walked Out Of a KH "Meeting"?

by african GB Member in

did you have enough of boasting, and decided to walk out?.

that's what happened to me during this week's bs about how to "treat the disfellowshipped"?.

i just picked up my bag and stormed out...... will i get called into the back room?.

Hiding Questioner

I wish I had the courage so many of you have shown. Just recently I almost walked out when our visiting CO told all the parents in the hall that to encourage or allow thier children to attend college was a waste because soon all the institutions of higher learning were going to be distroyed by God.

My blood boiled.

11

I am back after being gone 3 years! And, an idea to do something good..

by Hiding Questioner in

jw
friends

hello again after lurking for almost 3 years.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/105598/1/is-there-any-way-i-can-just-e2809ccream-skime2809d-the-e2809ctruthe2809d.

....under the name hidden questioner (hq) and i thank all those who helped me during that difficult time in my life.

Hiding Questioner

Rebel8: Good question regarding "Token Service". The logic and "mechanism" I have is this:

First, most turn me (us) away. IF the householder seems willing to talk I do the following:

1) Don't place literature. Just mention the public talk program.

2) Make sure I maintain control of the return visit contact so I can "assist" if interest is displayed. If and when necessary I can aways make sure individuals are given all the truth about "The Truth TM ".

Beyond the selfish motive of keeping peace with wife, family and friends, my reason for going out is; if my "service" can somehow replace or cancel out another Dub's attempts to unkowningly do Cultish harm then my "saving" efforts have done some good while again sending a message to the WBT$ that they really don't have full control over all our minds. I hope this makes sense.

HQ

11

I am back after being gone 3 years! And, an idea to do something good..

by Hiding Questioner in

jw
friends

hello again after lurking for almost 3 years.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/105598/1/is-there-any-way-i-can-just-e2809ccream-skime2809d-the-e2809ctruthe2809d.

....under the name hidden questioner (hq) and i thank all those who helped me during that difficult time in my life.

Hiding Questioner

Hello again after lurking for almost 3 years And, some of you may remember this thread I started....

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/105598/1/Is-there-any-way-I-can-just-e2809ccream-skime2809d-the-e2809cTruthe2809d

....under the name Hidden Questioner (HQ) and I thank all those who helped me during that difficult time in my life.

There are reasons why I was gone so long and I can get into why later. I am happy to report that, with some professional therapy, I am recovering from many painful issues and, at another time, I will provide further details. I am still attending meetings and doing my 2 hrs a month token service as my wife is in deep and I want to keep my marriage in-tact (for instance, she cannot know I am here). Also, I have a theory that, if in and a rebel, I can do more good in helping others to not make the same huge Borg-induced life-altering mistakes that I have made - nevermind that being a rebel helps me tell the WTB$ where they can go. Needless to say it is good to be back and among friends. (BTW I had to re-registered as Hiding Questioner because I couldn't get Hidden Questioner to work under the re-created version of JWN. I want to thank Simon for keeping this site alive. Even lurking, this site has helped me tremendously for 3 years!)

What brought me back? It was the thread "Is it really just innocent words". This thread made me think hard about the damage inflicted on many of us to the point where anger has driven us to justifiably come up with these "innocent words". In the thread it was expressed how can this Board help others and it made me realize that there is indeed a huge group on this Board that truely wants both to help others and, at the same time, send messages of hope.

So, here is an idea. Part of our anger (and mine) is that many have failed to plan for the future and retirement. Further, many have come to the diffi-CULT realization that, no matter how devoted, the WTB$ is not going to give a hoot about us in our old age. So, what about us getting together somehow to form a Not-For-Profit Foundation whose sole purpose is to assist current and ex-JWs who might need a retirement home that they can afford. This would be great positive PR for us and fill a huge void that has been created by the unfulfilled "promise" of the NS.

As I look around the hall, I am sadden that many are facing old age without any preparation and they need help. I'd volunteer to help with time and money on a program that assists these poor individuals that have been led down this path with no where to turn for help. Perhaps by pooling our resources and their limited assets we could put together something that could help. We have a lot of smart people on this Board. Any thoughts or feelings?

HQ